Let’s talk about pain again

Pain is a fragment of something larger. Within us exist big, complex, radiant states — like care, compassion, or a sense of inner greatness. These states are like a beautiful cup or vase: whole, smooth, pleasant to touch, and pleasing to look at. But when we go through difficult experiences, this vase can shatter into pieces. Instead of one complete state we can draw strength from, we end up with a collection of painful fragments — useless on their own and capable of hurting us.

Take care, for example. You might be a caring person, and you likely agree that care is a positive quality — a powerful and beautiful state. But when that capacity for care is damaged, it breaks into fragments. And instead of experiencing care as a whole, nurturing state, you feel only the sharp pieces.